I'll admit it. I started writing for Revelife out of boredom.
It was a difficult season in my life. I had just moved to a new town where I knew next to no one, having just left behind the dream and career that I had thought was going to be my life. It was a season of disappointments and frustrations, of realizing that the picture-perfect life I thought I had was starting to unravel before my eyes, and there was little I could do to fix it.
Revelife was an opportunity to do something different. If you want to know the truth, I only got the internship because I knew the editor. I've known him since high school, which is a story in and of itself, but that is for another time. And I only got the editorship because my friend stepped down to pursue other ventures. It was a God's will kind of thing that got me to where I am today, and I'm going to tell you how I know this is true.
There have been many times in the last two years I have wanted to shut the site down. It's not really an easy job to take care of an entire community of people when you're the only one on board. My most recent attempt to shut down the site was in May of this year. I had just gotten back from Haiti and, having experienced significant life changes as a result of the trip, I thought maybe the season for Revelife had ended for me.
I was convinced not to do it, and discontented though I was, I pushed ahead and kept the site alive somehow. I had no real concept of why I was running the site anymore, or why I had even been running it in the first place. Nothing in my life had changed, and when all you get to hear are the complaints and frustrations of people who hate trolls and atheists and spam, it's hard to tell that anyone else has changed because of the site either. And then came a message from the TGB.
Travis is one of the few close friends I have made since I became a part of the Revelife community. Over the last two years, we've been as best of friends as two people who know each other exclusively on the internet can be. Which is surprisingly close, actually.
Right around the same time I was attempting to shut down the very site that brought us into each other's lives, Travis sent me a message that seemed innocent at the time, one that I had completely disregarded -- and he can attest to that -- but that would change the course of my life forever.He introduced me to Michael.
It's kind of crazy to say that an internet friend introduced me to a real-life one, but that's what happened. And it was just as awkward at first as you can imagine, but it worked surprisingly well. Very well. Very, very well. Weller than anyone could have imagined. (It's love.) But it wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for Revelife.
I never would have thought that this year would be the year I would understand why God put this site into my hands. And if this is the only reason I ever obtained this editorship at all, then praise God. But I have to think that I'm not the only one with a story to tell. For all the crazy, messed up stuff we feature on that silly little site, there's got to be more life change going on than we know. Because we serve a God who likes to do crazy, messed up things that turn out spectacular and awesome and defy all the things we think we know about life and love.
And so it goes on. I can't say I feel much better about my job than I did in May. It's still not easy, and there's still not enough time to take care of the site the way I want to, but clearly God has a reason for that. Maybe it's because what I want Revelife to be is not what He wants Revelife to be. Revelife is crazy and messy and frustrating and beautiful. It's beyond my control. It's beyond anyone's control. It's an organism of diverse people with conflicting ideas where nothing ever gets truly solved but ideas get laid out on the table and people -- hopefully -- learn something new.
Isn't that cool? Isn't that the best that we, broken and imperfect, can do? And behind the scenes, behind the made-up usernames and harsh words and loving words and profile pictures, God is doing works in each of us that no one will ever know unless we tell our stories, too.
So thanks. Thanks for the blog submissions and comments. Thanks for the "eProps" (lame!) and recommendations. And thanks for being a little part of the big picture of what God is doing in lives that you don't know.
And here's hoping I don't go crazy and shut the site down in 2012!